HP - how to fail at business

I'd always thought HP pretty capable, but experience this week proves otherwise.

A new K5400 inkjet printer managed just one page before the black packed up. An email support request brought a computer-generated page of instructions - clearly bolted together from a menu, partly in broken English.

When that didn't work, I was referred to UK support for a replacement printhead. No problem (apart from being asked to go through the history all over again - and about 10 minutes on an expensive 0870 line) - they would get me a new printhead in 8-10 working days.

How long? This was HP trying to remedy a failure in a brand new product of theirs. Could they manage faster when the alternative was me rejecting the product and sending it back to the supplier? Nope - the system takes nearly two weeks, and that is the way things work.

When there is an international football match, newspapers arrive in our Derbyshire village at 06.30 showing photos taken after the end of a game at nearly 11pm the previous night. HP don't need to make anything new - just take something off a shelf and stick it in the envelope and post it. And it takes a fortnight.

So back goes the HP printer. I've ordered a Canon instead.